WARNING: There are pictures in this blog that (depending on your occupation) may not be safe for viewing while at work. ~Signed Management
I remember writing a few times in my journal during my single years, that I wanted a partner that will be respectful and encouraging of my sexuality and sensuality and not exploit it. For years my exes speculated that I was bisexual. I neither confirmed nor denied because I knew based on their behavior and or things they have said in the past, that if I shared any sort of information on the subject, they would try to exploit the notion.
I started on my spiritual journey in 2013. I was raised in the church, but when a deacon and family friend molest and rapes you, that tends to leave a bad taste in your mouth about church. I had to forgive and come to term...
Is it really approaching a year since my last blog? OH MY GAWD! It’s been truly a busy year. I actually recorded a podcast while in PR updating everyone and I’m seriously contemplating releasing it. I know you’re looking at me like ‘wtf?’ But it’s what I do. I have so many things recorded, so many things completed and on pause and so while it may sound counterproductive, it isn’t. I wait for my inner guidance to tell me when it’s time. Quick example: I owned a massage table before ever attending massage therapy school. I had my business website, logo copyrighted, all since 2014 and all while working in Corporate America. I paid for the domain every year and did very little with the business site. Four years later, after moving to Florida, I wasn’t sitting down thinking: holy mackerel I nee...
I remember liking this guy a lot. A few of us were over his place and my 'best friend' was shamelessly flirting with him. It was a very hard day for me honestly. I sat there and listened to her lie to him and behaved in a manner that made her appear innocent and superior to me.
I was lying in bed, on the phone with an airline company when I heard…a sound. My body went on full alert but my mind was so caught up on what was being said on the other end of the line that I didn’t immediately recognize the sound. Conversation continued but my body was still in fight or flight mode. I decided to tune less into what was being said to me and more on the sound to try and place it.
bzzzzzBZZZZZZZZZZ. What is that sound? It got louder.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh sh*t! It was a bee! I swallowed and tried not to panic. I couldn’t see it, so I listened closer to figure out where it was coming from. It sounded like it was right above my head and to the right. So the window? As I continued speaking to the airline rep and tried calming my heart rate, I said a quick prayer to my Guides and...
"Send me your location, Let's focus on communicatin' 'cause I just need the time and place to come through (A place to come through) Send me your location Let's ride the vibrations I don't need nothin' else but you (I don't need nothin' else but you)"
Rod: Baby, where is Northport? How far is it from you?
Me: Sounds like Long Island. I'm not sure. Wassup?
Him: Looking for jobs in your area so I can be closer to you.
Me: *swoons* *heart stops* *God revives me* *adds this as another reason to love him, list* Awww Baby. I wouldn't want you to move here. I want to leave NY.
Him: Oh? Where would you like to live?
Him: Okay. Sure thing. *looks for job in Florida.* [7/2017] *Receives job* [8/2017].
Standing in the hallway of his apartment in Mississippi, I looked him DEAD in the eye and told him: “My Spidey senses are telling me you’re up to something. Lucky for you it’s also telling me that it’s nothing bad. I also know that somehow KSA is involved in this which again tells me it’s nothing bad.” I saw a bead of sweat making its way down the side of his cheek from his brow. Then I simply walked away.
It was the hiding of the phone, the swiping the messages away when KSA’s messages came through. It was the stench of fear that permeated my nose if I so happened to have his phone. When I mentioned his peculiar behavior to KSA he completely brushed it aside. Yeah, something was definitely up.
Rod and I physically met on his 40th birthday in 2017. We were talking for a bit before we physic...
The past week has been trying, challenging, interesting, emotional, panic stricken and wonderfully healing.
I don’t watch much television. I used to turn on my tv just to make sure it works and then turn it right back off. So I had no warning when I went on my phone a couple months ago and every scroll of my thumb I was accosted by stories of women from all over the globe sharing some form of sexual trauma or a simple status of ‘#MeToo.’ Somehow I missed the memo and I wasn’t prepared...at all.
As I read the stories, I thought I should share mine as well but then the sad thought came: which one?
Yeah. Which one? Then images rapidly came to the forefront of my brain. Memories that I’ve suppressed for so long. I mean, do I share the story of finding out my privates were played with at age 3/4 b...
My 2017 started off with drama. If you know me well, then you know Shy does not do drama. So those folks were quickly eliminated from my life. From the drama, plus some other personal things, came heartache. From that heartache a talent was born: poetry.
I witnessed my best friend Ryan fall in love and marry. Ahh yes, love was in the air for 2017.
Then a bun started baking in her oven! I was asked to be godmommy! YASSSS! Nah I didn't squeal at the top of my lungs.
I was attending my favorite exotic dance class when I took a tumble. I fractured and sprained my ankle! *squint eyes @ self* I knew I should've worn my regular 6in stripper boots instead of the heels pictured below! Anyway, the tumble was AWESOME! A total blessing! It was a lesson in slowing DOWN!...
So I really thought that I would've said hello by now. My last blog entry was October 2016. Shame, shame! Hopefully you would've noted that I started writing poetry and you've been enjoying those posted on the site. I'll actually be performing two of my pieces on 6/21 @ 7p at the Amarachi Restaurant in Brooklyn and my body will be a canvas for an artist (#Dope). Not to mention keeping up with the podcasts on the next tab (Season Finale this Wednesday). Regardless of the timing, I don't think you'll mind me skipping what I've been up to since October, to tell you all about my Hedonism trip.
Lort! But where should I start? Let's start with two definitions. As the Universe would have it, while ON the trip on May 28...
There I was sprawled out on my bed in my Shy Speaks white Tshirt (only), faux locs adorning my pillow, television on mute, fan blowing on my half nakedness, cellular phone in hand, enjoying the bliss of...ahh never mind. Let's go with rain. Yes, yes, it was raining. There I was enjoying the sound of the rain, flipping between answering messages and being thoroughly entertained by the savagery, parodies, news etc on my Facebook time line when I was hit up by the nonsense you just read. As you can see, earlier on in the day all I did was put a question mark.