What do you want to be when you grow up? *childlike voice. squealing* “A doctor! A doctor!"
I would love to sit here and tell you that I went to a doctor’s office and was instantly amazed and had hearts in my eyes like in the cartoons but I honestly don’t remember where it came from. I only remember that someone outside of my family asked me and that was my reply. I was probably four years old. That’s as far back as I can remember. My mom says that I was a chatterbox and so I was enrolled in school very early from the age of two. It wasn’t customary but when the principal saw how ‘bright’ I was they allowed me to be enrolled. I’m told all this but I can totally see it being true.
I was fortunate to know what I wanted to be and to stick with it all these years. Even when I switched my major to business the passion was still there. I do recall going to doctors’ offices after my exclamation and being fascinated. I felt that all doctors did everything. When asked what type of doctor I had no clue. All that mattered was that I was going to be a doctor and figure the rest out later. Like that Malibu rum commercial goes ‘Details. Minor details.’ Lol! My parents and my family were all very supportive. I don’t recall not once them discouraging me. I have a fond memory of my sister coming home and she brought a red medicine bag as a birthday gift. It was the best gift ever! I would never forget that day. *far way daze* It’s one of the few fond memories I have of her. Hopefully I’ll have more. Anyway, I would walk around the house with a white shirt on, stethoscope around my neck and a pen and paper ready to jot down everyone’s heart rate. They always complied. Very good patients my family. Never ever did they shoo me.
It’s so unfortunate that they’re people out there that were laughed at for their dreams at a young age. If not teased then others would discredit it, say that the child is not good enough or say that that dream won’t pay the bills when they grow up. I find that such a pity. It saddens me. Maybe the race would’ve been between Obama and you’re son. Maybe there would be a lot more artists, doctors, musicians, you name it if it wasn’t for someone discouraging them. Words are power. We grow up hearing that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt/break me. Cut the crap! I used to believe that at one point. Maybe I’m interpreting it wrong but if someone pelts a stick or a stone at me it’s going to hurt. If someone stomp on my dreams by saying I’m not good enough, that hurts. So cut the crap! Words have meanings folks. We have to be careful what we say to our children, to ourselves and to others. I feel it’s how we rise from those discouragements that really test our will. When you wake up and say, you know what, I will become an artist, musician, run for president, become an OBGYN, I’m going to open my own business, or be an electrician etc. But how many times that never happens because of some discouraging words? Sad isn’t it? Resilience my friends, resilience!
By junior high school or somewhere about I decided I’ll become an obstetrician. I loved children! To those who know me personally, stop gasping! Hmph! But yes I loved children. They are growing on me now. I love well-mannered children. I have a HUGE problem seeing a child ruling a parent. That passiveness doesn’t work all the time. That’s my belief and I’m sticking to it. Somewhere along the way it changed to becoming an OBGYN. When time came for me to write an essay along with my college application, I took the readers along a journey where my future self was having a typical day at a hospital. Needless to say I didn’t get a rejection letter from any of the schools. At least I don’t recall receiving one. My mom was always (still is) so proud, showing off that I’m going to be a doctor.
Off I went to Clarkson University where my breasts froze off. It was five minutes from the Canadian border. When it snowed more than a foot we STILL had school. Oh the horror! My major was of course biology. I spent two semesters and half there. My boyfriend at the time came and visited me during one of my breaks. My grades were absolutely horrendous the previous semester. I passed ALL my lab classes but the lecture grades were an embarrassment. That semester I decided I was going to focus and I needed money so I took on a part time job. Full time schedule, part time job and as much hours spent in the classroom was the same time I spent outside studying. I was determined! One day I overheard some girls speaking about getting a PAPS done. In all honesty I never heard of it and decided to go and get one done. I was asked when was my last menstrual? I really had to think and I told her December. It was early February. She looked at me and I looked at her. Clearly I was missing something. No pun intended. She smiled and asked for some urine. I needed to pee anyway so it worked out for both of us. Don’t you just hate when they ask you to do that and you don’t have to go? Smh. I deposited my prized possession in that secret hole they have in the bathroom. After a few moments of waiting she came back and told me that I was pregnant. I stared at her. I stared some more. My mind was blank. I was not comprehending the words that were coming out of her mouth. She repeated herself and the place started to spin. Long story short I dropped out of school to come back to Brooklyn and have an abortion. I never regretted it. If you want to burn me to a cross for saying that then that sounds like a you issue not a meissue. That was when I changed my major to business. After a couple semesters I dropped out. I enrolled back in 2008 this time back to biology. I was going to become a doctor no matter what. That need to help people was always so strong. It has always resonated in my bones. Always a wonderful feeling that just never died.
My mom had to do knee surgery. I believe it was 1993 when her patient at the time was about to slip on the ice and fall and mom reached out to catch her which then cause her to fall. It totally messed up her knee. Donkey years later with her hopping about the place and the pain unbearable she went to see a specialist. Turns out it was just bone rubbing against bone all the ligaments were gone. Yet still she didn’t make an appointment because it would be months before she could return back to work after surgery so she had to save her money. It was recommended for her to do both knees. Her other knee became a problem because all these years her weight was on one knee. Scared to not have both knees out, she opted to do only one.
Fast forward and she did the surgery on one. I was having a house warming get together at my place. I was on the third floor and I went to get her as I know she dislikes elevators. There we were walking up the stairs, she ahead of me and I noticed that she was walking up the stairs in a 1-2-3 fashion instead of her usual 1-1-2-2-3-3. I can’t explain to you how much joy that gave me. I’m tearing up just remembering. From 1993 this woman has been hopping and here she is climbing the stairs like it was nothing! A true pro! I told her how happy I was and she mentioned how wonderful her physical therapist was. Aha! OBGYN be damned! I’m going to be a physical therapist! I asked a few friends and they mentioned that I won’t become the doctor I always wanted to be. It was discouraging only for a second. Just knowing that one of my patients could leave my care healed? Man oh man that beats a ‘Dr.’ before my name any day. As faith would have it: I went to an open house at Hunter College and the rules for becoming a physical therapist changed. Instead of a two year program it is now a three year program and you graduate with your doctorate. Dr. Davis, here I come! *WOOT WOOT*
I may have changed my mind a few times but I always knew that I must be in this field. Doctors are sometimes called healers. That’s what I always wanted to be. Sidebar: I found out that I was a doctor in one of my past lives. Hehehhehee. I’ll write a post on past lives one day. Interesting stuff!
Here we are, 2013 and still have a ways to go with school because I’m attending part time. My dreams and aspirations are still on fire that no water can put out. That drive, that passion that I have to heal still alive and strong. I have to be honest folks, with the eye opening year I’ve had…I’ll be taking a semester off. I decided that before I realized I had even decided. Sooooooo not looking forward to the student loan bills that will be coming my way but blah! I’m all about doing what I enjoy. If I’m unhappy I try to work on being happy as soon as possible. My mental health means a lot to me. It’s not cute flipping tables. This is why I promote meditation, relaxation, and just doing things that you enjoy that causes the mind to relax. I veered off a bit there. Ya, so I’m taking the semester off to explore the world of alternative medicine. First up is reiki. I know a lot of you may not know what that is but I promise you will by Monday. I was at jury duty today and I was absolutely DELIGHTED that out of the nine of us five knew what it is and have experienced it and told me how much they enjoy it and the healing effect it has had on them. While on lunch break a man saw me with the book and started telling me all about his experience. My dreams of being called Dr. Davis may be placed on hold but my dream of being a healer has not and that’s what I’ll be pursuing. It’s the work that I’m doing that really matters. The title is just extra. So, for my readers that are abreast with my posts, question for you: do you remember what the T-mobile lady and Gina told me? Ok ok I know you know! Great jobs guys, you’re paying attention *applauds* For those of you who may not have read my older posts or this is your first time, I was told by a spiritual reader and an angel intuitive that they see where or are being told that I will be doing alternative medicine in my future. When these things come to light I just have to lean back in my chair and stroke the hair under my chin (yikes, I need to wax) and smile in admiration and mentally say ‘wow, God you’re good! Thank you.’ You can be told all this information but we are all born with free will. You don’t have to listen or follow or believe. For me anything as long as I was in the health care field I was fine. Alternative or not, but coming to the decision and remembering that it was foreseen is pretty darn cool.
I hope you know what your Life Purpose is as I did all my life. It’s a fulfilling knowledge. It drives you and keeps you focused. If you have a child, encourage them, motivate them don’t laugh at them because words have power. It doesn’t have to be a child, encourage your friends or even yourself. Remember that we MUST be mindful of what we say. If you do not know what it is you were placed on planet earth to be then ask. Meditate and ask. Pray and ask. Contact an angel intuitive like Gina Sendef and ask. Get a reading done by a physic/intuitive like Ciara and Jen (they can be found on facebook) and ask. They will consult the beings that are not of this realm for you and relay back the message. Don’t be lost my love. If you're not what you always wanted to be then don't give up! The world is in need of your talents. We were not placed here to twiddle our thumbs and look cute. Feeling lost and confused is not a healthy mental state. Just ask and listen and watch for the answer. I love you all.
Stay tuned to find out about the new path I’m on. I’m so excited that I can‘t sleep!!!! *squealssssssssssssss*
PS. I gotta put this post in my book.