Yep it’s all about you! Okay okay you and me. My mom used to always say: “Even if it’s a five cents sweety you must treat yourself a week time.” Meaning, that you should buy yourself something, no matter how small it is from each paycheck. Treat yourself! How many of us actually do that? I know, even though I grew up hearing it, it took several years for it to kick in. I’m a selfless person and so therefore I put everyone’s needs first. However, I took it a step further. Not only did I put other’s needs first but I would either forget about myself or don’t treat myself as grandiose as I did others. No bueno. Let me give you an example: every single one of my boyfriends had to have the best or whatever they wanted. Whether it’s renting a Benz for the night so he won’t drive and we go to dinner at Tavern on the Green, purchasing the newest Playstation or PSP, jewelry engraved, latest name brand clothes I mean it doesn’t matter what, they got it. What about me? Nada! I’m not saying I didn’t purchase myself or do anything for myself but it would usually go something like this: Oooooo that’s purtyyyyy. I’ll check the price and quickly put it back. Meanwhile I spent twice that amount or even more on someone else. How does that make sense? I would feel so guilty purchasing anything too lavish or doing anything too lavish for myself. It felt like a crime.
So, how many of you are guilty of that? Yes I know little Mary needs her school uniform and her little brother needs pampers this week. Yes I know hubby or wifey needs this or that and good Lord I know the bills need to pay and food need to go in the house but what does Shasha/Brian (meaning YOU) need? You need new undies don’t cha? New pants? Good grief is that holes in your clothes? New sneakers? Are you overdue on a weave change? It hurts my heart to see others being stingy to themselves when they are worth the same amount if not more than what they are spending on others. Little Mary and her brother can’t be looking fly and you looking homeless. Sorry, that’s an epic fail. I want you to realize that your needs are just as important as the folks you are caring for. If you’re single like myself then even better. It doesn’t have to be tangible. If treating yourself monetarily isn’t an issue what about a date with yourself? Maybe you feel guilty being away from your family? Listen, kiss hubby/wifey and or the kids and tell them you’ll be right back. You take a long walk to clear your mind. That’s a gift to yourself too. Don’t feel guilty. It can be the difference between losing your mind and staying sane. You are no good to the folks you love if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
I think the turning point for me was when the Nook color came out and I wanted it so bad! First of all I felt like I was cheating on my books but I was running out of space for them and going digital made sense but it was $250! Knowing myself it would cost even more because I would put whatever protection plan and then I would need a case then add tax so we talking over $350 now. I was in Barnes and Nobles learning all about going digital and I was falling in love. I kept saying it’s my birthday and I should treat myself but then the other voice kept saying how expensive it was. When I have a tough decision I start making some calls and send out text messages for some advice. I called the girls and no one answered. I called my boyfriend at the time and no answer. I sent out texts and no replies. At this point I’m mentally biting my nails. I decided to call my mom and ask her what she think I should do. Worse call ever! Instead of talking me out of it she talked me into buying it! I should’ve known better because just as she’s the queen of forgiveness she’s the queen of treating herself. Now she didn’t have a clue as to what it was but she grasp the situation: I want to buy something for myself but don’t want to spend on myself. That’s all she needed to hear. The convo went something like this:
Mumsie: “Shaniquea, when last you bought something for yourself?”
Me: “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”
Mumsie: “Then buy it.”
Me: “But mommy it’s so expensive!”
Mumsie: “No it’s not.”
Me: *squealing* “Yes it is! I’ll have to put it on a credit card.”
Mumsie: “How soon can you pay it off?”
Me: “If all goes right two, three months?”
Mumsie: “Then buy it.”
Me: “But I don’t want to spend on a credit card!”
Mumsie: “Shan, we will always have bills. Something is always going to be due. You can’t wake up every mawning and a pay bills. It’s your birthday and Christmas is five days away. Buy it.”
We went back and forth like that for a good 40 minutes. She made me realize how cheap I was being to myself. Not that I was comparing, but when I calculated how much I’ve already spent on my boyfriend at the time and I’m whining about $250+ was ridiculous. I purchased it and never regretted it. Then after I bought it the text messages and phone calls came in with everyone saying don’t buy it. I was already confident with my purchase so I didn’t feel bad. I even shared mommy’s wisdom and they eventually saw where I was coming from and agreed.
With all that being said, I want you to know and remember that you are worth it. Is this week pay week? Then treat yourself to a gift. Doesn’t matter how small the price. (Not to be confused with you seeing two items and the one you really like is $20 more. Buy the one you love! Don’t go for the cheaper one). Remember it could just be that you need some alone time. That’s a precious gift too. We all know that I get my monthly massages. They had a sale and I stacked up on 6. I buy myself flowers from time to time. I take myself out to eat. One year I bought myself a Kwanza, Birthday, Christmas, and a Boxing Day Gift (Macy’s had a crazy sale on jewelry). While I was in the relationship back then I slowly stopped feeling guilty for spending the same amount of money on my boyfriend as myself. Because I’m worth it. Being single there’s more for me. Hehehehehe. So treat yourself loves! It’s good for the mind and depending on the type of treat it’s good for the body.
Disclaimer Alert: Don’t go maxing out your credit cards now.
PS: As I was googling images for this blog I came across a video clip from Parks and Recreation (never watched an episode. Yall know I don’t watch tv like that) and I re watched it 10 times and each time I burst out laughing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K4if6QkDbo Enjoy! It’s Sunday. If you haven’t carved anytime out for yourself then do so today.