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Love

December 8, 2013

I was minding my own business when Ryan sent me a link to the song ‘All of You’ By John Legend and Lindsey Stirling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwsYvBYZcx4). You have to watch the video and listen the lyrics before reading this blog, unless of course you know the song and have seen THIS version of the video and especially THIS version of the song, this way you can appreciate what I’m about to share with you.  This song is the inspiration for this blog.  Thanks Ryan for sending me this.  Anyway, thank goodness I was working on recouping from my meltdown because that would’ve broke me down again.  I mean the words are just amazing.  The video is so nice with the red roses strategically scattered about.  You know I’m a sucker for flowers.  I loved how the time of day changes while they are both playing their respective instruments.  Let’s talk about the words.  Ryan and I are similar in that when we love, we LOVE whomever we are with. That’s not to say that you guys love anymore or any less than us.  It’s just that this song, every single word SCREAMS us.  

[Verse]
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

For me when I love I give my all.  Okay maybe not all, maybe around 95%.  My mom always said a man shouldn’t know everything about you.  Keep some things to yourself.  Seeing that I’m a pretty open person, whomever I’m with gets a good chunk of my love.  The BEST to date relationship I’ve ever had was with my ex Marshall.  He gets a lot of props on here right?  That’s because he’s just such a great guy and I like to give what’s due unto Caesar and so he deserves the props.  He has taught me and showed me an example of what a healthy relationship should look and feel like.  Coupled with what I’ve learned in therapy after my previous exes has allowed me to recognize signs of a healthy relationship and Marshall and I had it.  I’m not saying we never argued but they were so few I can only think of three major ones and that’s over a three year span.  Just as I’ve taught him several things and has been an influential person in his life so has he to me.  How many times have we laughed at the one we love ‘smart mouth[s]’?  He has such a good sense of humor.  Always fun to be around.  Always knows how to make me laugh.  

How many times have you laid in the arms of the one you’re in love with and stare into their eyes and say a penny for your thoughts?  Wanting to know ‘what’s going on in that beautiful mind.’  I know I do it all the time.  I say it to every boyfriend that I’ve had.  I don’t need anything grandiose (not to say if it’s not done it’s not appreciated) but I love the simple things.  I like those moments when we stare into each other’s eyes and your heart opens up and you think about the ‘magical mystery ride’ that you are on together.  This not only includes the good times but also the not so good.  Or what about when you realize oh sh*t I love this person.  Even deeper, I’m in love with this person.  You get dizzy and don’t even know what hit you.  Sometimes it just sneaks up on you but then that scary feeling evaporates and you know you’ll be alright.  Like with me and Marshall.  We were inseparable from May 31st 2009 (until last year).  He told me he loved me by June 5th.  Would never forget the text I received.  Three words: “I love you.”  I called him instantly to explain.  In just five days the little that he has gotten to learn about me struck a chord with him and it just couldn’t be helped.  He fell in love.  I’m not tooting my own horn but I’m a darn loveable gal.  I’m told countless times that I’m a ‘beautiful person inside and out.’  Even if you don’t fall in love with me you can’t help but to love me or have love for me.  I don’t remember when I said it back but I know that it was something to explore because it was just something about him I trusted instantly!  That’s HUGE for me.  I had trusting issues prior.  I learned that was because I had reasons to not trust.  With him I had not one reason to not trust him and throughout the three years he never gave me one.  

 [Bridge]
My head's underwater
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

How many times you’re with your significant other and one or both of you hit a rough spot and you just feel like your ‘head’s underwater’ but you know you have each other’s back and you guys are in it together.  What happens to one happens to the other and because the love is so strong, ‘you are ‘breathing fine.’  You. Are. Breathing. Just. Fine.   You know you can get through anything with that person because they are on the left, right, behind and in front of you.  One person is crazy and the other is out of their minds but then you dig real deep.  Then the strength of both of you allow the clouds to turn from grey to white.  Remember folks that the sky is always blue.  That’s a part of loving.

[Chorus]
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

It’s the chorus that just does it for me.  I’ll do anything legal for the one I love.  I would take a bullet for the one I love.  Why?  It’s simple because all of me loves all of that person.  This is the person that I will call and for no reason say ‘I love you’ or just to hear their voice.  This is a person that I will drop whatever I’m doing and be there for.  This is a person that I will share my creative ideas (in the bedroom and outside) with.  This is a person who have proven that they deserve all of me (keep in mind my definition of all is 95%).  This is someone that loves my ‘curves and all [my] edges.’  (Do you see these hips and thighs?!) This is someone that loves my ‘perfect imperfections.’  This is someone who will become an extension of me.  This will be someone I’ll give all of myself to.  This is someone that I will serve breakfast in bed to.  Shucks this is someone I’ll cook for.  If I cook for you trust me I love you!  Someone that regardless how long you’ve been together you still think of them throughout the day and the thought just makes you smile.  This is someone that I will buy flowers for and have delivered to his job or home… just because.  Or maybe I see something on my way home and think he should own it and I just pick it up.  What about being in the kitchen or wherever and you just hug them from the back and they turn around and you start slow dancing to the music of your love.  That’s someone I’ll give my all to.  This is someone when their birthday comes around I go all out for.  The fun part for me is making it more magical than the previous year.  This is someone I will update my lingerie collection for and just randomly greet him at the door in a sexy get up.  Fruits, chocolate, and wine waiting on a blanket on the floor of the living room.  This is someone I will pour my heart out to.  Someone I can share whatever that’s on my mind.  Someone that fills up my journal with words that I wish I can tell him at every moment but can’t because I can’t speak to him 24hrs of the day.  Someone that when I look at him I’m telepathically expressing how I feel and can be reflected I’m sure through my eyes, so no need for verbalization.   This is also someone that when you disagree you feel as though you lose but you are winning.  You know that this too shall pass because the sun shouldn’t set with your wrath.  When you argue/disagree it’s killing you inside, it’s like having the worse heart burn ever. Why?  Because you have become one with this person so when one hurts both feels it.  What about when they go away and you just can’t sleep.  You’ve developed such a bond that sleep can’t come without that person’s body heat on your back or somehow both of you are touching in bed.  Or you can’t sleep until they get home from work.  You roam the house until they get in or you lay in bed eyes wide and the moment you hear the keys in the door all tension has eased out of you and before they make their way to the bedroom to check on you you’re fast asleep.  Your other half is safe no need for the brain waves to be hyperactive anymore.  Someone that I can just crawl into his lap while he’s watching tv and read my book.  Or he’s laying in the bed and I snuggle in and throw a leg over and rest my face by his neck inhaling his scent or lay my head on his chest listening to the beautiful rhythm of his heartbeat.  This is a person that with one hug you feel safe, needed, wanted and loved. Because I have a beautiful soul this person will give me all of himself to me too.  

[Verse]
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you 

The man I give my all to will smile at me when I’m crying looking a hot mess and will kiss my tears away and remark how beautiful I am.  This is someone that will be with me ‘through every mood,’ from a meltdown to when I’m super happy.  When you are in love there is a level of vulnerability.  After all you are placing your heart into the palm of this person’s hand.  They can stroke it lovingly and passionately or they can instantly close their fist!  This is a person that can be my downfall and muse simultaneously.  This is someone that with one look will be ‘my worst distraction’ from my writing or studies and have my thoughts going all sorts of places.  Come on folks, yall know the look I’m talking about. *wink wink* This person is my ‘rhythm and blues.’ They make me cry, smile and laugh all at the same time.  The person that will have my thoughts on him majority of the day is someone I give my all to.

Let me pause for a second.  We can have friends that we love and treat similarly...at least I do because that’s how I love.   Like I have a friend that I’ve known for thirteen years and we will cuddle in bed and it aint a thing.  We’ll do anything for each other because our hearts are just like that.  I love that about him and I’m sure the same applies to him about me.  He’s not the only male in my life that I can show I love them.  It’s just that I’m not in love with them.  HUGE difference.  I have male friends I communicate with every single day all day any hour of the day.  I love them so maybe I’ll send a song to them that reminds me of them.  If sick I want to help bring them back to health.  Maybe I’ll write a poem…wait back up I mean send them a poem.  I don’t have the talent for writing poetry at all.  Better yet the day I write a poem you know that’s definitely someone I will give my all to.  LOL!  These are the men in my life that are just so special to me and I guess that’s why they too love me and just love being around me.  I’m refreshing and it’s just such a different experience for them.  Those things are what I’ve been told.  The same goes for my female friends.  I have no qualms telling them how much I love them and appreciate them in my life.  I have no problem buying random gifts for them or doing something special for them or writing a few words expressing how I feel towards them.  I give lots of love and sometimes I don’t feel loved and that screws up my heart chakra.  Guess what?  You can’t wait for someone to love you.  You have to learn to love yourself first (I’m telling you therapy is the best!).  That was something I learned quickly during therapy.  Actually I should say that I was told that.  I understood it but didn’t learn and apply it til a few years ago and more so now that I’m single.  

Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

Look, the beautiful feeling of being in love is nothing easy but it’s so rewarding and fulfilling when the ‘cards on the table, [and] we’re both showing hearts.’  It’s the most wonderful feeling and I can’t wait to experience it again.  Even though I know ‘risking it all’ is hard I look forward to it.  It gets lonely at times.  So Universe let’s try this again: send me a Trinidadian dreadlocks man with very LITTLE or no complications that will give me all of him and I’ll gladly return the favor.  Please and thanks.

[Chorus]
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all, all of you, oh

 


Okay so seeing that Ryan sending me the song was the inspiration for this blog I just HAD to call him up and ask for a collaboration and I was over the moon when he agreed.  I mean the song has been on repeat ever since.   I think that it just totally describes how we love.  I told him this is our song.  So what is love?  Please, ladies and gents get even more comfortable and read his beautiful words on his view of love.   Mr. Ryan Safann everyone!!!!!!! *APPLAUSE*

Soulmates (The one created from my rib)

 By Ryan Safann

I truly believe that only once in your life you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. 

A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate that will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you will see his or her flaws. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they're out of money or under pressure or just hungry. Love is different. True love is choosing to be there unconditionally and accepting all of who they are…good, bad and ugly. Love is patient and kind. Love is pain and sacrifice. Love is hard yet the very thing that rescues you and gives you life. Love is seeing the darkness in another person but refusing to give up. Love is finding the strength to defy the odds and fight the impulse to jump ship. Love is the strongest driving force in life. To Love is to see the bad and seek the good. I am always going to be the guy who loves truly loves because I see the bad but I seek the good.

Who do you think about besides yourself, do you wonder if they ate, how did they sleep, what are they thinking about right now, are they smiling, crying or just at work focused on the next project due in two days. The last thought on my mind as I drift off to sleep is Good Night My love, sleep well, and as soon as my eyes open to the new day I think…Hmmm how is she doing this morning. I grew up with a mom and dad, a somewhat stable household and divorce was not known to me. My parents however did argue and did have fights but never did they leave each other’s side. This is what I saw and remember from the moment I can remember, a marriage, and a couple who tried to make it work always. A mother who worked hard and still made sure a home cook meal was there and a father who did the same, cooking and cleaning just as much as my mom. A balance was kept and work was shared amongst us all.

I decided there and then I would have that and even better. I would treat my wife with love and respect, always letting her know am there at her side never letting her feel overwhelmed or alone. I love and I will always love. I can truly say All Of Me loves all of her. 

I want to leave you with this quote from the Bible….

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4.Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.


Wow!  Just whoa.  Such beautiful words…it brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you very much Ryan for sharing.  I look forward to more collabs with you, you are such a talented person.  I’m truly blessed to have you a part of my world.  I know I called you for your birthday yesterday but Happy Birthday again my friend.

Love you guys.  Stay Blessed.

Shy

 

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