30 Day Challenge Update: Day 21
Challenge update: Hey how are you? Happy Sunday! Did anyone watch Super Soul Sunday today? Oprah had Dr. Angelou on. I nearly chopped my finger off trying to watch and cook at the same time. As I was listening tears starting sliding down the side of my cheeks. Reminds me of that scene in Ocean’s Thirteen when Rusty walked into the hotel room and caught Danny crying from watching Oprah. I mean seriously, how can you not cry when you watch this woman? Even the commercials bring teardrops! These are all good tears by the way. Any hoo, I’m cooking (GASP!...yes yes I know) so I’ll make this as quick as possible. Abstaining from: 1. Cheese: Still going good. 2. Alcohol: Not an issue. 3. Sex: *deep sigh* Folks I backslide. Guess what happened? Same thing that I said before, it was great while it lasted but I felt empty once over. I’m very good at blocking things. In the psychology world it’s called self-preservation and based on my past I learned this quickly. But I didn’t want to block this. I wanted to feel the internal turmoil. I wanted to feel the disappointed in myself and remember. I want to remember all these feelings so that it can be triggered once needed. Then I lovingly said to myself, Shy you’re going to treat this just like all the other mistakes you’ve made in your life. You’re going to dust yourself off and try again. And try I will. However, I ended all self-chastising (<toxic) by forgiving myself. That’s a powerful thing folks. Forgiveness! For a quick minute I was contemplating not mentioning anything about it here but then I shut that down instantly because that would’ve been lying to myself and I’m really bad at lying. When you lie you have to remember the lie and my memory for a young woman isn’t all that hot, so I refrain as much as possible from doing so. This is way too important to me and I won’t give up. It doesn’t matter how many times I try I WILL conquer this. I’m learning from this mistake and keeping it moving *swag walk.* 4. Spiritually: I still haven’t started any crystal meditation or chakra clearing. I’m almost finished with Tony Robbins and finals are almost over so my time will be freed up soon. I did pull out my crystal quartz last night and used it. What happened after is another blog to itself. Fitness Challenge: After listening to Tony talk about acid in our diet I ran out and bought a Nutribullet. I was also chatting with a tenant about our cable and I have no clue how we got unto the topic of organic foods but we did. Apparently she and another tenant had some type of deal at the farmers market where they split the monthly fee of $80 and get all the fruits and veggies they want. I was intrigued! Remembering the need to want to switch to organic products and the high recommendation from Carlene ‘shortlegs’ I told her to sign me up! The summer season is starting soon and so they’re shopping around for the best deal and they are looking for a third person because the fruits tend to spoil because it’s too much for just the two of them. I’m totally psyched about it! I can’t wait! She told me where a big market is and I’m going to check it out week after next while they shop around. The Nutribullet comes with a booklet filled with recipes and a six week meal plan. It seems interesting so I’m going to give it a whirl. What I read in the booklet and what Tony said both makes sense so I’m going to incorporate both. I’m not going to lie, surprisingly some of the recipes looks yummy. Today is my first day trying it out. I made spinach, 1 unpeeled orange, a slice of unpeeled lemon and lime, a dash of ginger and salt with water. It wasn’t bad. It DEFINITELY came out better than if I was using a blender. The fact that I could leave the skins on and it chopped it up so tiny was awesome! I’m not a pulp girl and thankfully the blend wasn’t as smooth as a juice but it wasn’t pulpy either. Then I made some grilled chicken breasts which will be for my salad later in the week. I also cooked up one of my favorite vegetarian meat: fry pat. I also followed the recipe for a butternut squash soup. This isn’t finished as yet because I took a break to write this but I’ll let you know how it came out. This is all for this week. The book said to plan your meals for the week and it will help from detouring. Sounds like a good concept so let’s see how it goes. Self: You remember when Tony said for two minutes tell yourself how much you love you and why? I started doing it and the first day I was a crying hot mess. Mind you I was dressed and heading to work. I wiped my tears, washed my face and head on out and I kept asking myself, why is this so gosh darnit difficult!? The same answer that I thought up last week was the same answer that popped up in my head: the fear of becoming conceited. I’m not a fan of conceited people. I fear that by looking at myself and listing all the great things about me I’ll become conceited. How do I get over this? I wasn’t going to see the therapist for a few more days to come and I was going to do this challenge each day for seven days like Tony said. I needed to figure this out and fast. The following day I faced the mirror, took a deep breath and looked at myself. HA! I am one beautiful woman! I smiled at myself and that warm smile that reflected back at me was all the courage I needed and I began…I love you Shaniquea. I love you Shaniquea! I love you Shaniquea because you have a big heart. I love you because you are a loyal friend. I love you because you are such a nurturing woman, always willing to help. I love you because you are so dependable. I love your caring soul. I love you because you’re nonjudgmental. Each day after that was a breeze. If I forgot to do it in the morning I would do it at night and If I’m in bed and don’t feel like getting up I conjure up and image of myself and mentally tell myself this. I’m not afraid of becoming conceited because it’s just not my nature to be like that. Ya, I’ve been working on me. Okay, going back to my butternut squash soup. Love ya! Stay Blessed!