Hi all! Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. As for me I stayed in and chillax and listened to music. Got a little lonesome but hey. Anyway, I would like to take this moment to thank all of you that contacted me with your well wishes about my health. I truly appreciated it. I’m WELL. I feel so much better and I’m rested.
One thing that did annoy me were messages I received that stated something like ‘you haven’t gotten over that yet?’ ‘I just called your job (a day after) why you not back at work yet?’ and so on and so forth. I sent an angry message to my friends complaining and Nattydread made a good point. She said that “people overuse that phrase too much that it makes it hard for people to get the full scope of a meltdown.” After I read that I was no longer upset at the messages or phone calls. She had a very good point. I guess because I have a therapist and have insight on mental illnesses why I completely understand the term. I said let me find a good way to explain it but I couldn’t. However, I found a site that explained it very simply. Take a read:
Nervous breakdown. Mental breakdown. Midlife Crisis. To most people, these are casual phrases describing someone’s inability to function normally due to severe psychological stress.
The use of these generic phrases allow both friends and strangers to talk about mental health without getting too technical, too clinical or too attached to someone’s personal issues. The problem with this is that many people forget it’s a real issue that merits serious treatment.
While there isn’t a standard clinical definition for a nervous breakdown or a precise psychiatric diagnosis — technically speaking, a nervous or mental breakdown isn’t a clinical term — many health experts today refer to a nervous breakdown as a “modern mental health crisis.”
CAN YOU REALLY HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN?
In short, yes. By pseudo-definition, a nervous breakdown (medically known as a modern mental health crisis) is an event in which a person has reached his or her limit and can’t cope or function normally or effectively in day-to-day life. The event often occurs in response to stress or external influences — such as divorce, unemployment or the death of a loved one — and it may indicate an underlying issue that needs attention, like depression or anxiety. These events are considered temporary and acute episodes, signaling the need for an individual to pause, relax, recuperate or even seek professional help. If you think you're experiencing a mental health crisis, get help. Talk to your primary care doctor about your signs and symptoms, or seek help from a mental health provider.
Thank you http://www.symptomfind.com/health/signs-and-symptoms-of-nervous-breakdown/ for that definition. Feel free to click on the link to read more. I really couldn’t help but to bold and underline that last part. Because I understand the term if anyone says they need a break I always suggest that they take a mental day. Just like a computer you have to reboot. Like a phone that depletes charge you have to recharge. You get the idea. I’m a little annoyed that I’m even explaining this but I realized that some people just don’t know and I’m all about increasing awareness so you’re welcome.
I wanted to share with you my road of recovery. After Alicie spent the night and left Wednesday afternoon, I was still blue. When my therapist called to check up on me it was hard not to start crying all over again. Little sobs would escape which turned into me bawling. I hoped after the call that i would have it a little more together before I saw him. It wasn’t until Saturday evening that I had a eureka moment. It came to me that I have different ways accessible to me for healing myself. I’m a Reiki II practitioner, I can do crystal healing, I’ve been exposed to, experienced, and learning tidbits of acupuncture in school, and I know the healing effects of a massage. A voice said to me that Saturday afternoon to take your crystals and get some healing on. Initially I took up all the crystals for my seven chakras but then a voice (Higher Self, angel, intuitive sense, whatever you want to call it) said no and I was instructed as to which crystals to use. That was step one. I grabbed my rose quartz and it went on my heart chakra, sodalite to my throat chakra, amethyst for my third eye, clear quartz in my left hand and citrine in my right. The citrine threw me off but that was the guidance I received so I went with it. I asked for clarity for all my current problems that had me on stress overload and I asked for healing to come forth. Then I got my healing on. Soooo I totally fell asleep which is normal, but as soon as I woke up I received a TON of information and my heart chakra in particular felt a lot better. I was reminded by my Celestial Team that I have to heal myself before I can tackle the stresses that’s on my list. They let me know that my Shen and Hun (I’ll explain what those terms are momentarily) are totally screwed up and I need to take care of that by making an appointment for acupuncture. They told me that my body needs a good stretching (so true I keep wanting to do yoga but I just don’t have the space to do it in my apartment) and so to get a massage. I knew all about these holistic and Tradition Chinese Medicine (TCM) modalities and wasn’t utilizing them for myself. I would recommend it for others and do it for others but forgot all about little ole me. I called the clinic that’s at my school and scheduled an acupuncture appointment and a massage appointment. The earliest acupuncture appointment turned out to be Monday at 9am and massage on Tuesday at 9am. After I hanged up I realized that I didn’t specify what type of massage I wanted and there are five to choose from: Reflexology, Shiatsu, Thai Massage, Tui Na, and Swedish. Well I asked myself which one should I be receiving and the answer was a Thai Massage. Why? Well remember the guidance said I need a good stretching and with a Thai massage you are placed into yoga like positions that combines range of motion, stretching and acupressure techniques. It generally follows the Chinese Meridians. I called back and let them know I wanted a Thai Massage. That was step two.
I then went to my notes about Shen and Hun because I learned about it and I was trying to remember what the signs were of shen and hun disturbances. Let me explain briefly what it is. Clearly you can’t see my notes but I found a really good website that explains it nicely for you (http://www.fivespirits.com/shen.php and http://www.fivespirits.com/hun.php).
Shen: From a TCM perspective the shen is the mind because it incorporates all Five-Mental and Spiritual aspects: Hun, Po, Yi, Zhi, and Shen (that site goes into details about what those are. When you have a moment navigate the site and get your Eastern edumacation on). The shen resides in our heart and from there it guides us throughout life. It is said that it enters the body shortly after birth and remains till death. The organ associated with it is the heart. Common symptoms of a shen disturbance are insomnia (check), dream disturbed sleep, anxiety, palpitations, hyperactivity (check), inability to concentrate (sort of), restlessness (check), overly talkative to name a few. Remember I said I was running on three hours sleep for some time. Smh.
Hun: Can be thought of as the Ethereal Soul. At birth the Ethereal Soul joins with the Corporeal Soul and at death it returns to Heaven. The hun represents the outwardly movement of the mind. Meaning our imagination, having a clear direction in life, our visions, taking a stand for what is believed to be right that sort of thing. The organ related to the hun is the liver. It is said that the Ethereal Soul returns to the liver at night. Some signs of hun disturbances are: Excess sleeping, lack of clear vision physiologically, spiritual confusion, insomnia (excessive dreaming or no dreams at all…check!), erratic emotions (check), repressed emotions (check) and digestive disturbances to name a few.
Step three was doing a forgiveness ritual. I took a moment, did some deep breathing and began. I made a list of names of folks that grieved me, my name being first on the list. Then I went through the transmutation process. I found it hard to really let go of one person so I wrote a letter to that person. I let all how I’ve been feeling come out. I thought it would’ve been an angrier letter but it was peaceful. More like these are my thoughts and since I can’t tell you all of them to your face here you go. Then I burned it and it was the first time I burned a letter and it took only one struck of the match. I stood there and let it burn *cue Usher’s Let it Burn song* and I felt such a release! I ended the ritual with a nice shower and another crystal healing session. I was also guided to light certain colored candles and I did that too.
On Monday I went in for treatment and during my intake I told them all about my mental breakdown the week before and that I think I have shen and hun disturbances and that I started the healing process by Reiki and crystal healing. They asked me what crystals were used and where they were placed and jotted it down. The agreed with my method of placing them on my chakras. I told them yep I was guided to do so. Ya, try having that sort of conversation with a Western doctor. Off to the G building I would go. Anyway after asking more questions and checking my tongue and six pulses (three on each wrist) he then started getting a feel of my meridians while the intern took notes, watched and occasionally helped. Sweet heavens! I swear every point the man touched bloody hurt. I was constantly yelping and he would apologize and nod in acknowledgement and tell the intern which point of the meridian he was on and she would jot it down. I know it couldn’t be helped but oh gosh! After all that the diagnosis was blood stagnation especially along my liver channels (remember liver is the organ related to the hun) and excessive heat in my Upper Jiao (which explains why my palms and feet were so sweaty for weeks and the amount of sweat increased. It was 29 degrees last week. I have no heat in the house and had the fan on high. We all know I don’t like the cold so I knew something was up with me). He asked if I had a lot of repressed anger and I told him yes and how I’ve been working on it by doing a forgiveness ritual. They were intrigued by it and when I explained they totally liked the process.
It was needling time. Before they began I had called upon God and Archangel Raphael to surround me during the session. They first recommended a point called the Du 9 which is on the back that will help kick start my shen, hmmm or was it my hun?...don’t quote me on which. All it took was one prick of the needle and I was told to flip over. I INSTATLY felt something leaving my body. He then placed 10 needles along my liver channels to clear up the stagnation and four other needles elsewhere. I don’t remember what meridians those were on. They left me and checked up on me every fifteen minutes. Usually they cover you especially it being cold out but my feet were just so hot that they had a filter on that was blowing cool air and I was so grateful for it. During the first fifteen minutes I started to feel something flowing out from my left arm. I was praying to Jesus that I wasn’t bleeding and I SO did NOT want to lift up my arm and check because I would’ve panicked. When they came back in I asked them to check my arm and he said nope no blood. I told him what I felt and excitedly he explained that’s all that repressed stuff flowing out, my blood is now flowing properly and healing has begun. Coooooooolnesssssss. They left and then fifteen minutes after that I felt the same sensation on my right hand. I smiled and thanked God for this method of healing. So a session usually lasts 45-1hr. I was there for 1hr and 45minutes. Yep, no bueno. I was jacked up! You see once the mind is not right it manifest and builds up inside and around our organs which then manifest itself outwardly to a dis-ease. After the needles came out they placed three sticky thingamajiggys on each ear which will regulate my sleep. They said to leave it on until they fall off.
Tuesday rolled around and I had my first Tai Massage and it was just AWESOME! I surprised the girl because I guess for my size she didn’t expect me to be so flexible. I had me a good stretch especially for my back. I was moaning as if I was naked and receiving a deep tissue massage. It was just so good getting a great stretch, getting the blood flowing and when she hit those pressure points along my body, instead of hurting it felt oh so good!! When I got home I found that I was just so hungry! I was eating once a day with a snack for around a week or more. I just didn’t have an appetite. I had lost three pounds. I had two meals Tuesday. Wednesday came and my sweaty palms and feet were completely gone. I was back to getting 7hrs of sleep at night and getting my 2-3 hour naps during the day and I’ve been eating everything in sight. LOL! I’m afraid to look at the scale because I’m sure I gained back the weight which is a good thing. I did receive guidance on how to deal with the issues I’m facing and I already started the process and I’m just so happy. The moral of me going through this hot mess is remember to take care of me first and that it’s absolutely positively okay to be selfish when it comes to health. If you need a day, don’t give a rat’s behind if your job is going to be pissed. TAKE IT! I don’t want to hear about you on the news.
So how am I doing? I’m doing GREAT! I started feeling better form before I left the clinic on Monday. Just feeling whatever that was leaving me was so good. Then when I stepped out I complained how bloody cold it was and that was another indicator that I was getting better. Since Monday I’ve continued to receive 7hrs of sleep. The acupuncturist did mention that once the sleep kicks in it will help with the other stuff. I’m mentally and physically good. I’m digging this holistic TCM flow that I’m on.
Well it’s Monday and I’m back to work tomorrow. I can’t believe we are in December already. December is the best month of the year. Why? Because it’s my birthday month. WOOT WOOT!! #TEAMSAG
Have a wonderful day. If I don’t speak to you again, have a great week. Enjoy!