100 Gratitudes Part Un
Hiiiiiiiiiii guys!!! I’ve missed you so much! It’s been five crazy months. How have you been? I hope all is well. I haven’t stopped writing it’s just that I haven’t gotten around to completing them all. Well except for this one. Let me tell you a little about it. So, I was browsing Facebook sometime last year and came across someone’s page (I really can’t remember who) and saw ‘100 gratitude.’ He was encouraging us to write 100 things we are grateful for. Put what it is then why. I would like to encourage you to do the same. I thought it brilliant and decided I would do it and make it into a blog. I want you to realize while reading my list that some of these things may not seem like good things but we go through many lessons in our lives. Sometimes the lesson isn’t immediately recognized but there’s a reason for everything. I’m grateful and thankful for the good and the bad. I didn’t want to bombard you with twenty three pages so I’ve broken the list into four post so look out for the others. Here we go… 1. What: Getting married. Why: It was a very dark time but had I not been married I wouldn’t have been able to start back school in 2008. If you are not familiar with the college financial aid system, you have to use your parents information (wasn’t an option at the time), be 24 years old which is considered independent (I wasn’t 24) or be married (ding ding ding). I was so excited when the financial aid rep mentioned that last option. I signed up for school. 2. What: My relationship with Kenny. Why: He encouraged me to get my driver’s license. He was insistent about it. To me it made no sense getting a license while in NY. He told me that even if I don’t drive, just having it is beneficial for when I do decide to get a car because my driving record would be clean, and my insurance wouldn’t be crazy high. He also taught me that a penny is money. If you can save a dollar then do so. He also taught me what I don’t want in a relationship. I’m grateful for that experience. 3. What: Coming to America. Why: I would be looking like a burnt turkey bacon. I KID I KID!!! I needed my mother and although my dad is a great dad as a young girl I needed my mother. 4. What: Having an abortion. Why: I just was not ready. I’ve always been the motherly nurturing type but compare where I was back then to where I am now, then was not the time to have a child. I would’ve done that child a disservice and it was something I never regretted. I know one may never truly be 100% ready for a child but I kept it in mind that I would not bring another human being without first being able to provide some type of stability for him/her. 5. What: Meeting Nattydread (1999). Why: She’s a great listener, my therapist (when my actual therapist isn’t readily available) and my boyfriend (she knows why I call her my bf). She’s been there for me through thick and thin. She always answered her phone and always, always lend a helping hand. Her high pitched voice cracks me up! Her scandalous laugh is contagious and I love that she’s never afraid to speak her mind. She ‘refuses to have an ulcer for anyone.’ I’m truly blessed to have her in my life. 6. What: For being born. Why: At some point in our lives we probably wished we weren’t born. Maybe even mumbled under our breaths or in our heads at our mother when she said something like ‘I brought you into this world and I can take you back out.’ We say something like: “well I didn’t ask to be here.” Well I’ve come across some articles that states that we do choose to be born and that we choose our parents prior to be born. We make a soul contract. We say hey these are some lessons I need to learn in this lifetime and I would like to meet up with you, you, and you and I want you folks to be my parents because I can learn this that and that from y’all. I find this tidbit of information intriguing. If this is the case then I’m grateful for my parents. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons from them that I intend to pass on. Doesn’t matter how you feel towards your parents. If you look back on how they’ve impacted your life you’ll see you’ve learned a lot from them. Even if the lesson is to be nothing like them. 7. What: Meeting BJD (2000). Why: When I was a hot head (close your mouth BJD if you reading this. I’m NOT a hot head. HMPH!) she has the uncanny ability to point out where I was wrong in a situation rather calmly. Now even though I may not go from 0-60 in nano seconds anymore when I do call her about something upsetting she would listen patiently. She would never interrupt me and then basically tell me I’m f.o.s (full of sh*t). I need someone like that in my life. I don’t ever want someone in my life to tell me what I want to hear. Keep it real with me. Tell me I’m behaving like a child, tell me I’m being stubborn, tell me I’m making no sense, tell me I’m wrong and she is not afraid to tell me. Nattydread will always side with me in the beginning and then when I’ve calmed down she’ll go: soooooooooooooooooo you know you were wrong right? LOL!! BJD gives it to me hardcore. I’m grateful to have her around these 14 years to help me stay grounded. She’s also someone I look up to. I say to myself when I grow up I wanna be just like her: Nurse, director of a school, high in demand (she was just asked to be on a nurse’s panel thingamajig. It was a huge deal) owner of a beautiful house etc. I say to myself: Shy you’re a Licensed Massage Therapist who incorporates Reiki into her practice, you own your own business and you travel doing motivational speeches etc etc. She’s a highly motivational source. I’m thankful to have her around. Those two girls are my sisters from a different mamma…and dad. Lol 8. What: Working at my previous full time job. Why: I learned the value of the HR department. 9. What: Going against my mind and giving Marshall my phone number. Why: wellllllll, see what happened was, I was dating an acquaintance brother at the time. Did I ever tell you this story? No? Okay, I’ll be quick. So I was dating an acquaintance brother. Let’s call her T. It had been two weeks into dating. It was Ms. Royalty and her bday. We decided to celebrate at a club on Flatbush and Ave P I think. Got to the club and two guys asked if they could buy me a drink and I declined the offer. Marshall was sitting at the other end of the VIP section and he comes over and asks if he could buy me a drink and I said sure, much to the dismay of the other two gents that were still sitting near me. He was so polite and quiet with his approach. He brought me the drink and told me he hope I enjoyed it and went back to where he was sitting. SEVERAL brownie points for that. I got a free drink and I didn’t have to speak to him. He let me breathe. However, come to find out he was on a mission. Apparently as he walked in he saw me and asked T who I was. She immediately told him I’m off limits and that I’m dating her brother. HA! The hunt was ON. He told himself he wanted me and he was going to get me and it made it even spicier for him that I was taken. Smh. Well we had a good ole night. He didn’t come over to me at all but I felt him watching me all night. We were all having fun making the best of the night and I was dancing with a few people. Then I motioned to him to come to me. He gave me that good Trini whine and it was wrap! We danced together the rest of the night. When it was time to leave he asked for my number. Now, once I’m with someone and it was established we were in a relationship I don’t give out my number. Even though it was only two weeks of me making it official with T’s bro I took it seriously. My head said no but my mouth was rattling off my phone number. This was May 31, 2009. Five days later Marshall told me he loved me. Just for the record, by day 3 I cussed him real stank while I was shopping in Payless. Told him never to call me again because he’s young and all he wants is sex (that was not the case. Sex never came up). He text me the very next morning wishing me a good day. I stared at the message for a long hard time trying to figure out if I dreamt cussing him out the day before. Anywhoo the man was persistent and I’m glad I gave him my phone number and I’m glad that he was persistent because he taught me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look and feel like. Even though we aren’t together he is still my male best friend and we remain close. We even travel together and stuff. 10. What: Good health. Why: I’m obese according to the doctor’s charts but my blood is good, everything works and I’m grateful for that. 11. Who: My bro. Why: Now I may not be on speaking terms with the man but I do still love him and miss him terribly. I still hope he will come around one day. Anyway this man is as quiet as a lamb and is very humble. Intelligent as heck. When he speaks, everyone listens because he rarely utters a word. He’s just real calm and laid back. Whenever he visits me in my dreams it’s usually one sentence uttered, two tops and the message thus far has been an awakening. He’s only visited me twice and both times he saved me from making what would’ve been terrible mistakes. Besides all that the man taught me a lot of things. He was my mommy and daddy even when they were around. He taught me how to spell my name, how to read, and a lot of the habits I have now comes from him. For example, when I came home from school he would tell me to eat and start my homework then go and hold a fresh (shower). If I’m just too tired or not up for the homework then he would send me to bed early and then wake me up super early like 2/3am to finish my homework. I still do that now. Before working full time I wouldn’t stress myself out to finish an assignment. My brain needed rest so I would go to sleep early and revisit it in the morning. Now I go to school and work full time so I don’t even bother to open a book. My brain is wayyyy too tired. I would go straight to bed and wake up early in the morning and tackle my homework. There are other good things that has just stuck with me and I’m just so thankful for. 12. What: Laughter. Why: The place would be just sad without it. 13. Who: My Munchkin. Why: Oh he loathes that name. Actually he’s fronting, I know on the inside he loves that I call him Munchkin and I warned him that even when he’s 80 years old, I’m still going to call him Munchkin. I’m thankful for our bond and most of all I’m grateful for the seven months that we had together. He made me realize how much of a good mother I will be and that I’m totally up for the job. That’s huge. (If you’re new to my site/life then you’ll know I was totally against having children since my abortion) Thank you Munchkin. *pinches and kisses his cheeks.* That’s my babbyyyyyyyyy. 14. Who: Kizzy. Why: She spoils me rotten. LOL! Seriously. She cooks for me, she’s always down to do anything and she would go out of her way to get something done for me. She and Nattydread are related. Between the two of them, who needs a man? I’ll just use Adam aka mr 8.5inches who resides in my top draw if a certain itch arises. On a serious note, I knew it couldn’t be a coincidence that of all the years I’ve known Nattydread I’ve probably ran into her three times tops. Then a year ago she moves directly across the street from me????????? Que? Definitely not a coincidence. I started looking out for what’s the purpose of this and I found it. She’s been such a great support system. When I thought that she may have been jealous or envious about a certain situation she reacted the same way I would react. With nothing but love and happiness in her heart and it was awesome being embraced with so much love. She has such a beautiful smile and spirit. Even when she’s in a crappy mood I like being around her. Her smile really brightens my day. I’m glad to have her around. 15. What: Church. Why: I was raised Seventh Day Adventist. I attended church full time up until I think age 16/17. Somewhere around there. I wasn’t living with my mom anymore so no church. At a very young age it never sat well with me a few of their teachings and I had several questions and when I would ask the pastor or elders my questions I was never satisfied with their answers. It just never resonated. However, I’m grateful for the foundation. I’m thankful for my mom sending me to open church and to close it (meaning I would be there before it opens and there until it closes)…every single Saturday. I learned a lot and I’m thankful to be falling back on that foundation. There were definitely periods in my life where I felt God turned His back on me when really I turned my back and he was just patiently waiting with wide, loving, open arms to hug me and welcome me back. I absolutely love knowing that there is a Higher Power than us humans. It’s a comforting thought. Can you imagine being left to the hands of humans? *shudders* I may not believe/agree with certain interpretation of the Word but I’m very glad for the foundation the church provided. Oooh I especially loved when it was choir time. *singing* Love, a word that comes and goes, but do people really know what it means to love, somebody? Oh oh loveee. *snaps fingers* Felt the Holy Ghost! I loved when the choir would sing over Kirk Franklin’s songs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLezBXk-cuo ). 16. Who: Nica. Why: I’ve known her since High School. We didn’t attend the same school but we were in the same science program together. Now she’s a doctor. Yassssss hunny. She did her thanggg! AND she’s an organic chemistry professor. *Tamar Braxton voice* Won’t He do it?! We never spoke often but I’ve ran into her on a few occasions where I needed help. Like one day I ran into her while exiting the doctor’s office and she asked me what’s up and I gave her the rundown of my life and she would be like: nah chick, get your life! Look into so and so and I would follow her advice and things would work out. I remember another time I needed a job and I ran into her again and she told me where she was working were hiring. I applied and I got the job! It’s always ‘random’ moments where she pops up and it turns into a blessing. This time around though I believe she popped up for me to return the favor. She mentioned I have and that’s nice to know. I’m grateful for all those times when God sent her my way with valuable information. 17. Who: Ryan. Why: Do you see both my websites? (this one and www.shysenergyhealingcorner.com), you remember the logo he created for me? (which is officially copy written), have you visited his Facebook page? (www.facebook.com/urbanpreist). Besides his good looks and charm (LOVING the beard. s/o to his new gruff) he’s brilliant. He’s my creative director, a web designer, math and chemistry college level tutor, music lover, writer, (he also coauthored one of my blogs: http://www.shydavis.com/blog/love ) motivator just very much Mr. Versatile. There’s rarely anything I go to him about that he doesn’t already know. If he doesn’t he makes it his business to learn about it. He’s the admin to my Facebook account and I trust him with a lot of other stuff. While I’m away he’s going to be posting the remainder of these series for you. I love the man! Anything I’m unfamiliar with I just keep calm and let him handle it. He has the skill to make my vision a reality. He understands when I describes things as thingamajig and say thingy every other word. Makes no sense to the average Jo but he understands my language. Sometimes I can go to him with just a seed and he produces these beautiful fruits. I’m grateful to have him in my corner. Like I said, I just remain calm and he handles it. 18. What: Breathing fresh air. Why: As long as our heart is pumping we breathe automatically. It’s quite easy to take it for granted. I like my walk to the train in the mornings because I take deep breaths, listen to the birds wishing me a good day, look up into the sky and I’m just in awe and gratitude. 19. Who: VZ. Why: So I’ve known him since I was 13 years old. Over the years we’ve been in and out of contact. Last year I was guided to start my mini business. I was walking to the train when I saw a sign on a truck and it reminded me of him. I checked my phone and I still had his number so I tried it to see if it still works. It did. We got back to chatting. Anyway, I was sitting there thinking that being mobile is going to cost me a lot. Then a voice reminded me that VZ mentioned he owns two cars. I responded to the voice saying no way will this man say yes to just giving me his car. I kept getting nudged to call. I even did a tarot reading and the card clearly said don’t be afraid to ask others for help. I picked up the phone and called and asked. I explained why I would need it and asked how much he would charge me to rent it. He told me he wouldn’t charge me and he would gladly give it to me and I’ll just have to pay the insurance on it. Within that same week I was added to his insurance and were handed the keys and so started my mobile mini business. Well I gave back the car once school started back. Finding parking in Manhattan after work was a pain much less late at night when I got back from school. Things slowed down based on my schedule but I’m eternally thankful for him readily saying yes. No strings attached. Just out of the kindness of his heart. He also introduced me to Tony Robbins which was why I started this blogsite. That’s another story which you can read here: http://www.shydavis.com/blog/30-day-challenge . 20. Who: Trav. Why: Ahhh man, this guy was my only true friend when I used to attend college upstate. We used to talk for hourssssssss once I left there. He would always keep me company and he has helped me out during plenty financial hardships. We just got back in contact and it’s such a pleasure to have him around again. He’s a great listener and nonjudgmental. It was/is so refreshing to have such a good plutonic relationship with a guy. It’s so rare and I’ve been blessed with a few. There’s been several times when I think all men are dogs and I would be nicely reminded that nope, not all men are like that. Trav is one of the guys who is a good reminder of that. I remember I would just call him for company and we would go about our day on the phone silent and we are just on the phone keeping each other company. Now that’s precious. There’s a handful of people I do that with and I value that. Folks need to understand that silence is a good thing. 21. What: Safety and security. Why: living without fear allows me live my life. 22. Who: Nikole. Why: She was my spiritual teacher. I learned a great deal from her and for that I’m thankful. I had several questions and she had the answers. She made me hungry for more and I just started expanding my knowledge. I love learning. I’m sick of school but I do enjoy learning. I’m grateful for the role she played on my spiritual awakening. 23. Who: Alicie. Why: I was having a mental breakdown and I called her and this woman ran to my side. She showed up with a plastic cap on her head y’all. She was deep conditioning her hair and she heard my voice and felt my energy and was like: ‘Oh no, Shan needs me’ and she grabbed her coat and was out her door. I can’t forget that. I cried on her shoulder, I cried in her lap, I cried and cried and she offered me tissues, encouraging words and silence. I physically needed someone and she was there and she stayed with me a couple days until I was able to mentally stand up and there’s no way I can forget that and will always be grateful for that day she rushed to be by my side. 24. Who: Ms Royalty. Why: so Kenny had put his hands on me (for the last time) and was arrested. It was time for me to go. Did I have an apartment? Nope, but it was time for me to go. I called her and Ray and she got there first and took charge. She packed every single one of my belonging except my underwears. By the time Ray got there, there was very little for her to do. She worked so quickly and efficiently. I just sat there dazed and she did all the work. Then she extended her home to me. I truly appreciated that. I had no strength in me to do anything. I needed to recoup and there she was. She swooped right in and took charge while I gathered myself. 25. What: Walking into the T-Mobile store. Why: started my re-awakening. You can read the full story here: (http://www.shydavis.com/blog/how-i-started-on-the-spiritual-path ). That’s the first of four. Stay tuned for part two which will be posted soon. Thanks for stopping by. Love you and stay blessed!